Do Relationships Need Anger Management?
As I licensed psychotherapist, I have seen hundreds of couples in my clinical practice. As an anger management expert, I have seen equally the same number of couples come in for anger management couples coaching". While doing therapy with couples does not always uncover issues related to anger, I can say with almost 100% certainty that anger management counseling always covers issues relevant to good communication, listening, empathy, and expectation management.
Why Do Couples Seek Anger Counseling?
Couples frequently come in wanting to undercover the deeper issues that haunt regarding their anger, however, I tend to see faster results by simply teaching couples effective techniques for improving the quality of their interactions. Most partners get into fights because they are experiencing needs that the other partner isn't fulfilling. It could be needs for affection, security, love, respect, appreciation, or something else. Anger management counseling covers so many skills that it would be shocking if one didn't benefit from it in some way. It could be as simple as changing the tone in one's voice, or expressing feelings more clearly. Sometimes even slight modifications in behavior can have dramatic results.
How Can Couples Best Learn These Anger Management Skills?
Anger techniques can be learned a variety of ways. While I have always encouraged couples to make the time to come together, it is also possible to gain these same skills individually or through an online program offered by a licensed professional. Quality online anger management classes are an excellent way to learn effective strategies without having to spend time away from other commitments. Online anger classes can be taken from anywhere where one has access to a computer. Even a smart phone will work!. Live anger management classes are also an option if coming in together isn't possible. Isn't your relationship worth getting help for? Don't wait until it's too late
Thursday, May 26, 2011
Wednesday, May 18, 2011
Will Anger Management Classes Really Work?
Taking an anger management class isn't right for everyone
There, I said it. Not everyone is a candidate for anger management. Yes, the skills taught in these courses would likely help anyone. Most would agree that learning how to be a better communicator or how to improve skills in expectation management would be beneficial. And yes, most good anger management classes will teach skills in empathy and improving judgment and impulse control. Still, some might not be a match for such classes. You might be thinking, who couldn't benefit from learning how to do all these things more appropriately?
Motivation is the Key to Change
Quite frankly, if one isn't motivated to change, it really doesn't matter how great the class is or what is taught in the program. On a recent phone call, I was asked by a man how quickly he could finish his class so he could "get on with his life" and not have to worry about this "crap". He went on to say "I don't really want to learn anything because I'm not an angry person". My response was, "anger management isn't "crap" and speediness isn't the cure". Anger management is set of skills, actually a series of skills that must first be understood, then practiced. Since motivation is such a critical factor, the speed which someone takes a class is much less important. The participant still wont change. The motivation to succeed at anything is usually the first predictor of potential success. So before you sign up, ask yourself, "Am I really motivated to change".
Anger Management Classes Come in all Shapes and Sizes
These days, anger management can be learned many different ways. For some, taking group anger management classes is most helpful while for others being seen one on one seems to have the most benefit. Anger Management Classes online is another great option. These programs do not require the need to drive, and are incredibly convenient and and are very cost effective. Regardless of the format, anger classes can be a great match for those that really want to make serious changes to how they interact towards when they do get upset. Perhaps give it a try and see how you do. You might be surprised.
There, I said it. Not everyone is a candidate for anger management. Yes, the skills taught in these courses would likely help anyone. Most would agree that learning how to be a better communicator or how to improve skills in expectation management would be beneficial. And yes, most good anger management classes will teach skills in empathy and improving judgment and impulse control. Still, some might not be a match for such classes. You might be thinking, who couldn't benefit from learning how to do all these things more appropriately?
Motivation is the Key to Change
Quite frankly, if one isn't motivated to change, it really doesn't matter how great the class is or what is taught in the program. On a recent phone call, I was asked by a man how quickly he could finish his class so he could "get on with his life" and not have to worry about this "crap". He went on to say "I don't really want to learn anything because I'm not an angry person". My response was, "anger management isn't "crap" and speediness isn't the cure". Anger management is set of skills, actually a series of skills that must first be understood, then practiced. Since motivation is such a critical factor, the speed which someone takes a class is much less important. The participant still wont change. The motivation to succeed at anything is usually the first predictor of potential success. So before you sign up, ask yourself, "Am I really motivated to change".
Anger Management Classes Come in all Shapes and Sizes
These days, anger management can be learned many different ways. For some, taking group anger management classes is most helpful while for others being seen one on one seems to have the most benefit. Anger Management Classes online is another great option. These programs do not require the need to drive, and are incredibly convenient and and are very cost effective. Regardless of the format, anger classes can be a great match for those that really want to make serious changes to how they interact towards when they do get upset. Perhaps give it a try and see how you do. You might be surprised.
Monday, May 02, 2011
Get Out of your Poor Anger Management Routine
We all come to make decisions in different ways. There are those that are quick to make judgments. There are others who are black/white thinkers and see things as two distinct and polar extremes. Then there are perfectionists, who mourn the loss of anything that happens in their world that doesn't align with their idea of perfectionism. Of course, we can't forget those individuals who "should" all over people, as in "you should do this, you shouldn't do that".
Some of the biggest mistakes in communication are made by simply using absolutist vocabulary such as words like: most, least or just; all, every or none; best, worst; always, forever, never.
Rather than using words that create defensiveness in another because they create the absolute situation. Better word choices might include: some, may, might, seems, can, could, probably, almost.
Communication is probably one of the most difficult challenges in the human existence. It is one of the few things in life that is totally necessary in order to develop, sustain and maintain a relationship.
Individuals who are challenged to manage their anger often describe their communication as problematic and if they don't, it is easily identified as such by a qualified professional. It is nearly impossible to unlearn a problematic communication style; however, they can certainly learn a new approach to supersede an existing way that caused problems.
Where does one learn better communication? Contrary to popular belief, anger management can be learned by taking an anger management class. These classes can be taken online or in person, depending on what your preference may be. Get out of the nightmare of being an absolutist! Get help for anger management and see what it's like to live a life where communication comes so much easier.
Some of the biggest mistakes in communication are made by simply using absolutist vocabulary such as words like: most, least or just; all, every or none; best, worst; always, forever, never.
Rather than using words that create defensiveness in another because they create the absolute situation. Better word choices might include: some, may, might, seems, can, could, probably, almost.
Communication is probably one of the most difficult challenges in the human existence. It is one of the few things in life that is totally necessary in order to develop, sustain and maintain a relationship.
Individuals who are challenged to manage their anger often describe their communication as problematic and if they don't, it is easily identified as such by a qualified professional. It is nearly impossible to unlearn a problematic communication style; however, they can certainly learn a new approach to supersede an existing way that caused problems.
Where does one learn better communication? Contrary to popular belief, anger management can be learned by taking an anger management class. These classes can be taken online or in person, depending on what your preference may be. Get out of the nightmare of being an absolutist! Get help for anger management and see what it's like to live a life where communication comes so much easier.
Subscribe to:
Posts (Atom)
