Sunday, June 14, 2009

The Key to Success in Managing Your Anger

It usually boils down to one simple question, “what is the key to sucess in managing ones anger?”. While the answer to this question is complex, I would like to explore a few key concepts that can help anyone. First off, anger management is a skill that can be learned by attending a group class, an online or distance learning anger program, or through one/one coaching. Each format is uniquely different, therefore I recommend getting a consultation and anger management assessment before starting any program.

In our model, which is the Century Anger Management model of intervention, we focus on the “8 Tools of Anger Control”, and we view these as the key to success in our curriculum. By learning, practicing and mastering these skills one can expect to improve their own anger management and interpersonal relationships.

These skills include learning how to communicate assertively and refining listening skills. There is a common myth about what constitutes assertiveness and we like to level the playing field by teaching its true definition and use. The second skills in empathy and emotional intelligence. With this, we are better able to connect with others on an emotional level, which in turn creates connectivity between people. The third skill is learning to respond instead of react. Once one masters the ability to not be impulsive, better decisions can be made. The fourth skill is expectation management. Learning to master how to accurately evaluate situations and people is key to staying calm. Next is gaining skills in stress management. An obvious intervention aimed at learning how to stay calm. The sixth key skill is forgiveness. Learning to forgive has many layers and there are also some myths here that are uncovered in our approach. The seventh skill in learning how to take time outs and cool down appropriate as well as learning how to “fight” the right way. Both you and the recipient will gain from this skill. And, last, gaining skills in optimism is key to staying flexible and less reactive, another key to anger management.

Ari Novick, Ph.D.
AJ Novick Group, Inc. – Anger Management Classes
Anger Class Online- Online Anger Management Classes
949 715-2694

Thursday, June 04, 2009

Here's what is included in our Anger Management Classes

All of our anger management programs cover the following skills:

  • Dealing with stress. This tool teaches skills in effective stress management strategies to
  • Empathy Development. Teaches skills in emotional intelligence and empathy. Empathy is the ability to feel what another person feels. Empathy skills reduce anger responses.
  • Respond instead of React. Teaches ways to deal with situations using better judgment and impulse control. Not reacting to situations can often be a valuable tool in dealing with difficult situations or people.
  • Change Self-Talk. Changing self-talk can help us become more positive as well as develop more positive outcomes in our lives. Proven techniques and methods explored
  • Assertive Communication — An exploration of harmful communication styles and a detailed discussion of the effectiveness of being assertive. Training in expressing feelings and needs.
  • Adjust Those Expectations. Managing expectations can help reduce frustration. Clients are exposed to 5 skills for managing expectations more effectively
  • Forgive, but don't forget. This chapter explores effective ways for forgiving others while not giving up your rights as a person.
  • Retreat and Think Things Over. This chapter explores the "freeze frame" technique as well as the concept of "staying in the box" to calm down.

Click the following links for a local in person anger management class or our online anger management classes

Ari Novick, Ph.D.
AJ Novick Group - Anger Management
949 715-2694

Empathy is a skill that can be learned in Anger Management

Almost daily I teach skills in empathy to my clients in either our anger management classes or in one/one anger management coaching sessions. Empathy is the ability to see another person's viewpoint from both a content standpoint and an emotional standpoint. Most people can understand the "content", but lack the abilitiy to fully understand how the other person is experiencing them or the situation from an emotional standpoint. This lack of understanding is part of what creates problems and often situations escalate as a result.

So, what can you do to increase skills in empathy? The first thing to understand is the empathy is a skill. You can improve it simply by understanding it and practicing it. Second, empathy is part of a larger umbrella to our overall ability to connect with others. My clients often want to improve communication skills first while not realizing that empathy and communication are interwoven together. One can not be an effective communicator without the ability to empathize with his/her audience. To have empathy, one must be able to identify the emotional experience of the other, to feel the others feeling and relate to that person in a way that lets them know they are connected and understood. Not just from the content, but the emotions they are experiencing. These skills can be learned in either an anger management class, anger management coaching or a well established online anger management course

While it may take time to develop empathy, it can be one of the most rewarding skills to develop. Persons with high levels of empathy tend to have closer and more intimate relationships, are sought after for support and leadership, and experience less stress.

Ari Novick, Ph.D.
AJ Novick Group - Anger Management
949 715-2694