Monday, June 06, 2005

Learn to Adjust Expectations-A Smart Choice!

"Learning to adjust expectations is often tricky to do because different people have different ideas of this. One way to do it is to think about it when you are calm and cool. Things that seemed "reasonable" when you were worked up often seem rediculous and petty when you are relaxed and calm. Make sure that you make your important decisions when you are not in an escalated state of anger or stress.

Another way to do it is to compare someone's behavior with other people in that situation or age group. For instance, we have different expectations for teens and adults, for single people and married people, for normal cercumstances and difficult ones.

If you are still not sure if your expectation is reasonable, try asking peers or friends to give you honest feedback. Good friends will tell you the truth and help you adjust those expecations in line with common standards in your social group or community."--Published in our book, Anger Managment for the Twenty-first Century.

Ari Novick, M.A.