It usually boils down to one simple question, “what is the key to sucess in managing ones anger?”. While the answer to this question is complex, I would like to explore a few key concepts that can help anyone. First off, anger management is a skill that can be learned by attending a group class, an online or distance learning anger program, or through one/one coaching. Each format is uniquely different, therefore I recommend getting a consultation and anger management assessment before starting any program.
In our model, which is the Century Anger Management model of intervention, we focus on the “8 Tools of Anger Control”, and we view these as the key to success in our curriculum. By learning, practicing and mastering these skills one can expect to improve their own anger management and interpersonal relationships.
These skills include learning how to communicate assertively and refining listening skills. There is a common myth about what constitutes assertiveness and we like to level the playing field by teaching its true definition and use. The second skills in empathy and emotional intelligence. With this, we are better able to connect with others on an emotional level, which in turn creates connectivity between people. The third skill is learning to respond instead of react. Once one masters the ability to not be impulsive, better decisions can be made. The fourth skill is expectation management. Learning to master how to accurately evaluate situations and people is key to staying calm. Next is gaining skills in stress management. An obvious intervention aimed at learning how to stay calm. The sixth key skill is forgiveness. Learning to forgive has many layers and there are also some myths here that are uncovered in our approach. The seventh skill in learning how to take time outs and cool down appropriate as well as learning how to “fight” the right way. Both you and the recipient will gain from this skill. And, last, gaining skills in optimism is key to staying flexible and less reactive, another key to anger management.